"I kidnapped your son! Come rescue him with all the cash you have!! Or you won't ever see him again!"

"Sorry dude I don't have a son. You better try this on someone else"

"Bring the money anyway! Or I'll kidnap your wife!"

"I'm so sorry dude, I don't have a wife, and that's why I don't have a son."

"Then can you at least give me a number of someone you know who has both? I've tried eight before you today and all this same situation...this is embarrassing..."