"I kidnapped your son! Come rescue him with all the cash you have!! Or you won't ever see him again!"
"Sorry dude I don't have a son. You better try this on someone else"
"Bring the money anyway! Or I'll kidnap your wife!"
"I'm so sorry dude, I don't have a wife, and that's why I don't have a son."
"Then can you at least give me a number of someone you know who has both? I've tried eight before you today and all this same situation...this is embarrassing..."